The grass is always greener where you water it.

Women are an insecure bunch. The ones who don't admit it, are lying. We're constantly try to live up to others standards, live a life of discontentment, striving for the next best thing, and sometimes going along with a theme or an idea of something we don't believe in, just to "fit in."

The trend that I've found myself in over the past year has been quite the opposite. I now only surround myself with the people who make me better, and push my beliefs to expand on new ideas and concepts. I date a man who makes me a better woman, and overall human, because it feels good to do good. And I strive for career goals, because that's who I've always been. I can't sit still, I don't do stagnate well, but by NO means am I perfect.
I look in the mirror every morning and notice the flaws, I constantly correct my own work (I will have re-read this blog at LEAST 25 times before posting it), and critique my routine. I challenge my own thoughts, judgments and decisions, and do a very large helping of self-reflection. I engage in conversation with friends, family and strangers alike about current events, politics, cause and effect properties and even a little shameless Hollywood gossip from time to time. But long gone are the days of drama, wondering who doesn't like me and how I can fix it. Gone are the days of chatter, judgment and caring about irrelevant things like dress, weight and hair color. Mostly, I do what makes me happy and try not to negatively affect as many people as possible.
Most recently, I have run into several messages that are extremely humbling. Women and men in my life stop to tell me how they aspire to be me, or live vicariously through me. While I'm extremely dumbfounded that someone pays enough attention to my "highlight reel" of social media that they sometimes want to enjoy what I enjoy, it is just that. My highlight reel; the great, glorious, braggable/laughable/shareable moments that I choose to share with the publics in my world.
I'm human, and to every fault of what that means.
I definitely don't know how I got here and constantly research about God and what it takes to follow and believe in him, since, well, there's no other theory in my mind that makes sense.
I definitely don't know where I'm going when I die, and that, when overly pondered, makes me wonder all of the silly human things that we think, Will it hurt?, Will I suffer?, Will I get a chance to do all of the things I want to do before my time clock stops ticking?
I definitely don't know what tomorrow will bring, just like the rest of you. I can't tell my future, although sometimes I selfishly wish I could.
I definitely do not know how to protect all of my loved ones from hurt and pain. I wish I could, I promise. I wish I could never see people suffer hurt, despair and loss. I wish I could heal wounds and promise a better future, but I can't do that either.
I definitely do NOT live an extravagant life. I'm not fancy. I rarely shop for myself. I own a whole handful of designer brand name things. I am definitely NOT rich.
I definitely don't have a perfect relationship. We fight, bicker, argue, and disagree. We are human just like the rest of you. We have bad days and need some alone time. We offend each other and sometimes hurt each other's feelings. We don't concisely TRY to do any of these things, but they happen from time to time.

::The grass is always greener where you water it::

So as I was thinking about the eloquent words some have used to summarize my life, and wondered where they were coming from, I came up with a few things I'm absolutely sure of.

I work HARD at my relationship because it's worth it. I have started down a journey with a man who is my best friend. And for every idiotic stunt he pulls, he pulls 10 heroic or romantic ones. Everyone sees the cute ones. The ones that make me brag about him. The ones that make me proud to call him a thoughtful, kind, selfless man. He's funny and cute (which I am reminded of daily by friends and strangers alike). He gets me, appreciates me and makes me want to work at our love. Friends say, "I want a Peter." While I don't want to minimize the fact that he is an incredible man, it's not a "Peter" every girl needs (insert numerous jokes here). Peter and I tell each other every day what we mean to each other. We constantly say "please," "Thank you," "I love you," and "I'm sorry." We try our best to be honest about our feelings and make it a rule to end every night happily. Long distance is not easy. I said I would never do it again, and look at us now. We both have chosen high-stress career paths, and thrive off of delightful chaos. SO believe me when I say this, it is difficult every.damn.day. You have to CHOOSE to invest, if you find stock that you're interested in. Watering the grass makes it greener, not looking to the other fields and wanting what they have.
I work HARD at my job. Just like my love-loss in my recent years past, I lost my job in March and was stuck in a rut. A large rut. (Peter actually jokes that he picked me up when I was at my lowest to make a large investment for when I make the big bucks, and his investment will pay back in dividends with his early retirement- ha!) I went without a paycheck for THIRTEEN weeks. Yes, that's 3+ months from which I'm still recovering. But thankful for some pretty incredible people in my life, I forged the river and only a few ox died... Today I work for a communications agency I found off of an unmarked internet ad. It turned out to be one of Detroit's longest-standing and acclaimed agencies in the automotive business. It weathered the bankruptcy storms, and even recently merged with an equally great creative agency to bring logistics, event planning and graphic design and production in-house. I started on a prayer of just getting my foot in the door, and after five months of annoying enough people and applying for every open position that became available, I was promoted to Program Manager- Logistics, Ford Communications in mid-October. I now work on-site with our client at the Ford World Headquarters, alongside of the team of five others on the account. Yes, I travel with them. I laugh and enjoy my job with them, but there's not one of them from my executive director, rigth down to myself as the rookie, that doesn't work our ass off, put in long hours, last-minute troubleshooting, and give up some nights and weekends in the name of work. I do it because I love it, and I'm thankful for it.
The point is I'm strong, stubborn and normal just like the rest of you. I experience highs and lows, and I choose to be happy, because I would rather believe the glass is half full, than half empty. I'm not an optimist, I'm a realist. Nothing in life ever comes easy. I haven't been handed anything, just the rest of you haven't. We're all working hard at different things, and playing the cards we have been dealt. But that's just it; hard work.
You know what I don't have? Memories of a beautiful wedding and a handsome husband. Cheerful-playful children, running around, dirtying my place. A house or equity in land. But I'm not mad about any of these things. I don't want them because other people have them, I want them when it's my time, and right now, it's not. I'm not proud of some of my past mistakes. I don't tend to think I'm even 50% right, in all reality. Humility, shame, embarrassment, they're all incredible character builders. Publicly admitting I failed at something stings a little bit too, and that's happened a couple of times. I was depressed for a bit after my failed engagement. Some days, it took convincing myself to shower that day and I would consider that a win. Nobody wants to hear that stuff. Facebook doesn't want to read my somber music lyrics, or my anger cycle of rage.

And then one day, it's like you finally pick yourself and CHOOSE to be better.
The sun didn't just magically appear one morning. It was there the whole time; I just had the shades drawn- literally. It affected my relationships, my work and my overall health.

So to the people who want to live my "glamorous" life, don't sell yourselves short. There's a career out there for everyone, there's a person out there for everyone, and luckily there's always a second chance at life. I'm 6 weeks away from turning 28 and I've never been happier with my second chance. I've changed, I like myself. I go to bed at night at run through (6782351 checklists according to Pete) what could've went differently in my day, and which of those, I could've influenced more positively. And then I finally fall asleep and wake up to a new day, a new chance and a new opportunity the next day. Work hard for what you can control, and ease up on the stuff you cannot. And look around you. We live in a beautiful world, with incredible scenes. It's what you make of it. Water your own garden, lawn, trees, grass- whatever it is you choose to invest in. But make it your own, and something you're damn proud of.

Generation Y... Excited to be here.

I may be an old soul in the mere definition of it, but often times I think about what makes me happy, and yes, writing and reading are included on that list. Call me a nerd, but I think it's an incredible outlet to help catalog thoughts, feelings, stories or even advice.

Writing, much like the printed newspaper every day, seems to be a dying breed with today's generations. People don't have time to sit down and spend hour(s) retelling stories to their publics, when in all reality, the world and media is moving so fast via social outlets, that people know more things about you and your surroundings than you do sometimes. The difference between our generation and the ones older than us... our parents, aunts, uncles and even grandparents, is that we're more apt to change, although we may not like it.

The only problem I see with that is, large percentages of our generation are using their social media news feeds and Instagram-filtered photos as fact, in which case, more often than not, it's skewed. The change has become a paradigm shift. It's become a subconscious decision to "glue" yourself to the happenings of your social media feeds daily, hourly and even multiple times in a ten minute span, to clue into what's happening in the world. This is news... or so you think, when you're discussing with a friend later that day about what you saw.

Political parties have agendas, and subsequently many Twitter handles supporting their causes. Organizations have causes, and use sympathy to sell their ideas with YouTube videos. Businesses have bottom lines to hit, and they use strategy to pursue that via people you may subscribe to, and even be "friends" with on Facebook. This doesn't mean it's fact, fiction, or myth otherwise, it just means your constant buzz MIGHT be just what it seems. It's a completely brillant, over-stimulating, constant barrage of a social network that makes connecting with billions of people, worldwide, at any time of day not only possible, but very plausible.

Everyone who knows me, understands I'm pro-social media. I am an adventurer in many forms of the word, and it's fun to catalog weekends with friends, trips, reminiscing with old pals, and beautiful(ly altered) photos via cropping, filters and location tags. But the thing we must remember as a generation is to spend time reading the facts of society from a (hopeful) unbiased source, or wherever you choose to gather your news.

At a certain point in the next 10-15 years, we're going to be the individuals in upper management, the people whose lives are altered by stocks, investors and 401K's. The people who need to know what the pros/cons of new policies are, and how to set yourself up for a decent retirement. The people standing in line at the polls who will vote based on concepts of foreign affairs, fiscal policy and the United States Constitution versus who they like better, or what race they are. It's scary, but it's real.

The reason for my soapbox this afternoon is because I started to become the #1 culprit of all of this. I used to be good at spending 30 mins every morning checking the headlines, scanning the paper, and now, I was catching up with what happened on social media from the night before. How ignorant had I become?

Yesterday, I went to pick up a prescription I have been getting prescribed from the same doctor, and filled at the same pharmacy for over a year, and the cost was nothing. Zilch. Zero dollars spent and I was walking out of there with something that used to cost me close to $100. The reason: Obamacare. I knew about it, the term anyways. The idea that an American policy was being put into place that included very socialist ideas. Whether or not my political beliefs align with a policy or not, isn't the point. I had something affecting me, negative or positive, and I didn't even know the exact cause.

So today, I spent an hour over lunch understanding the policy. Familiarizing myself with the pros/cons and reviews. I have formed my own opinion, and can now actually speak to the topic should it ever come up, or someone else like myself was naive to the concept.

I spent the first year of this blog cataloging my (so-called) happy life, and sharing with friends and family. Last year, I spent an entire year using this outlet as a diary. A tell-all for the healing I was going through. Cleaning up the mess of what had become of my life, and sorting through the rubble. And I don't regret it. I needed it. It helped me understand things better. And it helped continue to shape the woman I am still becoming.

Today isn't the day where this column becomes a lecture, or advice, because Lord knows I haven't mastered anything enough to give it out. It just becomes the day where I say to myself, just because college is over, doesn't mean we need to stop learning. Stop yearning for new knowledge and tips. Because at a certain point, "growing up" turns into "grown up," and I don't want to be the one walking into a brick wall.

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If ever you'd like to know what I go to for news:

• Zite is a great iPhone app to put all of your interests and hobbies into and it will populate sources for your enjoyment. 
• I very much enjoy The Detroit News & Free Press for local and state-wide news, however they have a bias towards MSU and although I enjoy them, I like the boys in AA better.
• For international or overseas news, I usually check the NY Times.
• And should you ever want amusement, entertainment or gossip from your news source, I usually find The Huffington Post does a good job of having serious and light-hearted articles.